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Rider Profile - CJ Wilkinson

12/7/2015

8 Comments

 
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          My name is C.J. Wilkinson. I am a 52 year old mother of 4. Lately, I have noticed that many of my friends are having a hard time embracing their age (and season of life) but not so for me. While there have been many times in my past I didn't want to live another moment, I now believe each day is a gift!
         My struggle with depression and anxiety began just after the birth of my first son 28 years ago. They called it the "blues". They called it "normal". They said it would "go away". It didn't. Depression/anxiety stayed and eventually morphed into pretty severe mood swings, high highs and lower lows, that eventually led to thoughts of self harm. I tried to manage it all by consuming alcohol. That worked only for a short while and my life ran off into the ditch. Fortunately, I was able to get sober and just celebrated 24 years of continuous sobriety...but depression, anxiety and severe mood swings are still part of my life. I have been in and out of therapy, on meds, off meds, hospitalized, tried denial, and even became so anxious/paranoid, that at one point, I had a hard time leaving my home except for work. It has only been recently that I have found several things that consistently help me fight, I mean really fight!
         First, is my relationship with Christ who brings me hope and a community of people who support me (the real broken version). I have the most amazing man as my husband. He shows me how love is lived out daily especially when I don't feel lovable.
​        And I have found luge! Four short months ago I hopped on a luge for the first time. Focusing on the road, the thrill of speed and the unspeakable peace of mind inside my helmet and spirit are all the reason why I luge to fight. I have also found such acceptance and grounding friendships within the downhill community as well. We are here for one other and share genuine comradery. I want to encourage anyone who lives with depression/mood swings/anxiety/self harm to find your own passion and choose how you will fight. I, like many others, are here ready to cheer you on! And remember, you are never alone.

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8 Comments
Linda Kaye
12/7/2015 12:48:35 pm

That's my sister, one of my heroes! You go baby!

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CJ
12/7/2015 08:55:59 pm

Yes! Sistah...we'll go together! ❤️

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Janey Backer
12/7/2015 03:18:12 pm

Such a great story. You keep rocking that luge, can't wait to see you riding in your new helmet!

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CJ
12/7/2015 08:57:31 pm

Thanks Janey! I jut finished the final coats of clear coat! Ready to go for my trip in January!!

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Lorinda
12/7/2015 07:20:28 pm

CJ I commend you for telling your story. I think I was about 28 when I was at my lowest point. I also felt like dying at times. For me, finding my "Mr Right" helped me realize I could be loved, and have not been that low for the past 20 years. I catch myself starting to go there, and can usually get out before it gets too bad. I know when things are really bad, you just can't keep from sinking into the deep dark hole. Keep up the good work! You have lots of new friends at work too!

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CJ
12/7/2015 09:00:24 pm

And I do LOVE my job! I'm blessed that my moods have been stable (mostly) for several years. Winter is tough without the sunshine. That's when I bust out my light and staying active outdoors works wonders. 💗

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Sharron Hollingsworth link
12/8/2015 03:21:39 pm

I am so proud of you (and your sisters). Dealing with depression and all its lousy relatives is no walk in the park. Facing and challenging the demons until you find whatever it takes to successfully live every day without them, knowing that they still lurk in some dark corner waiting for you to take your successful for granted.. Keep on keepin on girlie . . .

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CJ
12/8/2015 10:54:48 pm

Thanks Mom! I love you and am
grateful for how you've led the way! I admire how you fight!
❤️❤️❤️

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    This page was started by people who suffer from mental illness, with the intention of helping any and all people who expereince similar challenges of depression, anxiety, addiction, victims of abuse and sexual assault, and to help those who experience these challenges of life through their passions.

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