My name is C.J. Wilkinson. I am a 52 year old mother of 4. Lately, I have noticed that many of my friends are having a hard time embracing their age (and season of life) but not so for me. While there have been many times in my past I didn't want to live another moment, I now believe each day is a gift!
My struggle with depression and anxiety began just after the birth of my first son 28 years ago. They called it the "blues". They called it "normal". They said it would "go away". It didn't. Depression/anxiety stayed and eventually morphed into pretty severe mood swings, high highs and lower lows, that eventually led to thoughts of self harm. I tried to manage it all by consuming alcohol. That worked only for a short while and my life ran off into the ditch. Fortunately, I was able to get sober and just celebrated 24 years of continuous sobriety...but depression, anxiety and severe mood swings are still part of my life. I have been in and out of therapy, on meds, off meds, hospitalized, tried denial, and even became so anxious/paranoid, that at one point, I had a hard time leaving my home except for work. It has only been recently that I have found several things that consistently help me fight, I mean really fight!
First, is my relationship with Christ who brings me hope and a community of people who support me (the real broken version). I have the most amazing man as my husband. He shows me how love is lived out daily especially when I don't feel lovable.
And I have found luge! Four short months ago I hopped on a luge for the first time. Focusing on the road, the thrill of speed and the unspeakable peace of mind inside my helmet and spirit are all the reason why I luge to fight. I have also found such acceptance and grounding friendships within the downhill community as well. We are here for one other and share genuine comradery. I want to encourage anyone who lives with depression/mood swings/anxiety/self harm to find your own passion and choose how you will fight. I, like many others, are here ready to cheer you on! And remember, you are never alone.
My struggle with depression and anxiety began just after the birth of my first son 28 years ago. They called it the "blues". They called it "normal". They said it would "go away". It didn't. Depression/anxiety stayed and eventually morphed into pretty severe mood swings, high highs and lower lows, that eventually led to thoughts of self harm. I tried to manage it all by consuming alcohol. That worked only for a short while and my life ran off into the ditch. Fortunately, I was able to get sober and just celebrated 24 years of continuous sobriety...but depression, anxiety and severe mood swings are still part of my life. I have been in and out of therapy, on meds, off meds, hospitalized, tried denial, and even became so anxious/paranoid, that at one point, I had a hard time leaving my home except for work. It has only been recently that I have found several things that consistently help me fight, I mean really fight!
First, is my relationship with Christ who brings me hope and a community of people who support me (the real broken version). I have the most amazing man as my husband. He shows me how love is lived out daily especially when I don't feel lovable.
And I have found luge! Four short months ago I hopped on a luge for the first time. Focusing on the road, the thrill of speed and the unspeakable peace of mind inside my helmet and spirit are all the reason why I luge to fight. I have also found such acceptance and grounding friendships within the downhill community as well. We are here for one other and share genuine comradery. I want to encourage anyone who lives with depression/mood swings/anxiety/self harm to find your own passion and choose how you will fight. I, like many others, are here ready to cheer you on! And remember, you are never alone.
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