When all of this was first conceived, our original goal was to create a community where people could feel safe to discuss their problems and seek help. Some days this community feels like it’s just James and I discussing our own issues, which technically still accomplishes our goal, but then other days as I scroll through my texts with many people I’ve met through helping or seeking help from them on the site and in my life, I see that this community is slowly growing. James and I have both experienced serious, different, and broad aspects of problems ranging from Seasonal Affective Disorder to Major Anxiety and Depression to Substance Abuse and Addictions. My point here is, between the two of us, we understand a lot of the problems that you may be going through, and even if we do not, we can relate to a point and are always willing to lend a helping hand or a listening ear. Although it has been said before, I want to say it again. We are always here, always willing to help everyone and anyone. We want to help, we want to do everything we can to help you endure. Simply email us or message us on our facebook page, and we will be happy to talk with you. We will always offer a safe, judgement free, positive conversation no matter what.
Now I understand that talking to a stranger about difficult, intimate problems can be very difficult to do, and if you don’t feel that you can, I have some recommendations of methods to help keep yourself feeling sane. These are methods that have helped me in the past, currently, and hopefully for the future, that I feel can help others out.
- Meditating means a lot of things to a lot of people, but the basic gist of it is prolonged deep, relaxing thought, (or lack of thought). Meditating is something that can help to clear your head, lower your heart rate, and reset your brain to help you to start thinking on a more positive level. Meditating is something that often takes practice, as simple as it may seem. I suggest making sure you have a private area to practice and to always use to meditate, and practice different positions, temperatures, conditions, etc. to learn how to meditate for yourself. For example, and this may seem weird, I cannot meditate unless I am laying on my left side, in a silent room, preferably with a window open and my eyes closed. It is weirdly particular, but it is has helped me in so many ways, from relaxing, resetting, and resisting and keeping me moving forward in a good direction.
- Music is probably the most common used method of coping used around the world. When listening to music, if you are listening to music with lyrics, I suggest seeking out songs with positive messages. Stick to things without too high of a tempo, or intense depth of instruments. Now this technically my preference, but I’ve found that if a song is slow, yet has a vast amount of intense instruments, it can cause me to panic. I personally listen to hard rock and metal music 90% of the time, but when I need music to help me cope, I shy away from that and listen to a small selection of songs. Some bands I highly recommend for their often positive messages and relaxing music, are Jack’s Mannequin, Ben Howard, Gabe Dixon Band, Yael Naim, and particular songs by William Joseph, Regina Spektor, and K.T. Tunstall. Just message me and I have a good sized list of music that I believe can help you out.
- The most common thing we use to teach coping is through passions. Obviously, James and I’s most vocal passion is skating. But common other passions are running, rock climbing, playing music, and reading. If you don’t know for yourself if you have a passion or feel like you need something new in your life, I suggest reading this article: https://www.themuse.com/advice/6-fresh-ways-to-find-your-passion .
- The reason that passions are so beneficial is because it gives a stagnant mind something to not only to use as an escape, but something to look forward to, and a reason to keep going. We believe strongly that passions are one of the best ways to fight your battles, especially when it comes to using your passion to help others. One simple way that you can use your passion to help other is teaching others your passion, and sharing your stories with us and our followers through the “How I Fight” section of our page. As important as these articles we post are, the most helpful things that we post are always the stories of others.
- Don’t contain everything in your head. Talk to a friend, write it down, consider a therapist. Locking things up restricts clear thinking and also prevents an outside opinion and voice that you may not have considered. Talking also helps you to feel and see the love that others have for you.
- Don’t rule out medication: If you are someone who’s never tried medication, or even seeing a doctor, consider it, please. I commonly hear that people don’t want others to think of them differently or lowly. A couple things with that. First off, 1 in 5 people suffer with depression. And that’s just depression. That doesn’t include addiction, anxiety, ALL mental disorders, etc… Everyone has their problems they don’t want others to know about, and most people have experienced these serious trials at some point in their lives, whether it’s a problem of their own or someone they love, and more than likely no one will judge you for it. And if they do, then they simply don’t understand, and YOU can be the one to help them understand. Taking medication or seeing a doctor doesn’t make you crazy, in fact it’s the opposite. Treating a medical condition is what you are supposed to do right? So why not treat the one that’s in your head?
“You gotta swim, Swim for your life
Swim for the music, That saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
Swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far
To fall off the earth
The currents will pull you Away from your love
Just keep your head above.”
And to close up and go along with that thought, don’t forget the famous quote by the beloved Dory of Finding Nemo, “Just Keep Swimming.”